Last night I went out to dinner with friends. The pizza was great, the restaurant was too loud and the quarters too close. I could barely hear what the people next to me were saying. Afterward, we went back to the friends’ apartment to meet the new puppy. They put in The Gods Must be Crazy and talked, and talked. I wasn’t well able to deal with it at that point; I just wanted to go home.
It drives me batty when there’s crosstalk and a movie and a dog and people keep asking me if I’m okay, too cold, too tired, etc. and so on. I know I didn’t look very happy, and I really was tired, but I felt like a bad person for being ungracious. Part of it was just too much stimulation; I really dislike watching movies in groups, anyway (and usually by myself, as well!) so I couldn’t get a grip on the banter between friends, either.
Part of it is because I knew one of the guys was trying to impress me. For many reasons–not least of which is that I am on a severe rebound–I am unable to be receptive to that kind of behavior. It’s sweet, but I can’t warm up to it. It’s flattering, but my heart isn’t in it.
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